coming to a close

My last day in Farrera. I have been painting spontaneously these last few days, using up materials and just letting process flow. The last trio of pieces is unfinished (the one at left, 16"x 20", is definitely a localized palette), but I am pleasantly happy with where they are going. I asked Phyllis, to whom I sent photos, if she thought they looked like "my" work, and she said yes. And when Lluis came to choose the piece to be donated to the Center, he also chose from this final trio. Both of these responses seem to validate my own satisfaction with them.

Phyllis asked me if I feel that the pieces look like my own. I'm not sure. Certainly they have characteristics similar to to other work I've done, yet they are the result of a looser and more casual process than I usually undertake. Part of what I like about them is their very looseness and informality. On the other hand, these are certainly not definitive pieces, and are almost throwaways. Indeed, I probably won't finish them, but will take them home, as reminders of what I've done here.

So after literally weeks of pushing my own limits, and of questioning nearly everything I do in the studio, it is hard to come to any conclusions. I have recognized that my orientation is toward abstract landforms rather than close-up details, or surfaces, or actual landscapes. I like to have structure and shape in my paintings, but these are referential rather than representational. I have gained strength from my experiments and from the persistence of showing up every day and keeping going. I think that the conclusions, if any, will come later, after I have returned to my own studio and my own environment, and can explore where this experience leads me.